Bad news people

My friend the bank teller:

xenocidlenutcase (10:05:54 AM): hows it going?

Zammie255 (10:06:00 AM): okasy im sick

Zammie255 (10:06:06 AM):

xenocidlenutcase (10:06:11 AM): swine flu?

Zammie255 (10:06:17 AM): pro;;y

Zammie255 (10:06:20 AM): lly

xenocidlenutcase (10:06:35 AM): well thats what you get for working in a bank

xenocidlenutcase (10:06:39 AM): remind me not to come over

Zammie255 (10:06:45 AM): lol okay

xenocidlenutcase (10:08:14 AM): well enjoy

xenocidlenutcase (10:08:17 AM): from a distance

Zammie255 (10:08:49 AM): lol haha thanks

xenocidlenutcase (10:09:05 AM): no problem

xenocidlenutcase (10:09:08 AM): *washes hands*

Zammie255 (10:09:48 AM): lol

xenocidlenutcase (10:16:25 AM): i think it would be great if you had bird flu, everyone in niles would shit

Zammie255 (10:16:43 AM): jeez how nice of you

xenocidlenutcase (10:16:48 AM): what?

xenocidlenutcase (10:16:59 AM): the regular flu kills over 36,000 people a year

xenocidlenutcase (10:17:04 AM): sends 400k to the hospital

xenocidlenutcase (10:17:08 AM): swine flu?

Zammie255 (10:17:08 AM): i know

xenocidlenutcase (10:17:11 AM): four!

xenocidlenutcase (10:17:22 AM): and there closing down schools left and right

xenocidlenutcase (10:17:24 AM): come on now

xenocidlenutcase (10:17:30 AM): its just silly

xenocidlenutcase (10:17:36 AM): plus your young and healty

xenocidlenutcase (10:17:39 AM): so you'll be fine

xenocidlenutcase (10:17:46 AM): meanwhile everyone is going to be going ape

Zammie255 (10:17:53 AM): yea i guess

Zammie255 (10:17:59 AM): i think its just allergies though

xenocidlenutcase (10:18:16 AM): well whats the fun in that?

xenocidlenutcase (10:18:23 AM): i shall stop alerting the media

Zammie255 (10:18:32 AM): lol

Zammie255 (10:18:40 AM): yeah that would be a good idea

xenocidlenutcase (10:18:45 AM): see!

xenocidlenutcase (10:18:50 AM): even more time off work

The greastest idea ever?

My idea, a Discovery channel meta show, it goes something like this (box fade)

(zoom in on the deck of the Northwestern)
Today on mythbusters, can a crab's pincher take your finger off, even after its been detached from the crab body?
Grant: ill build a robot that crushes a balistc gel finger at the same pressure as a real crab!

Mean while on top of the wheel house

Hi Billy Mays and Anthony Sullivan here for Alaskan king, your going to love this great product, fresh off the boat!

somewhere below decks:

today on dirty jobs, crab fishing's worst jobs, cleaning the oil pan from the inside while the engine is running.

Meanwhile in the wheelhouse Ben bailey from cash cab is sitting in the captains chair:

Ben: Okay sig, you have $700 but 2 starts, so one more wrong answer and your gonna have to get off the boat
Sig: get the fuck out of my chair you goddamn *beeeppppppppp*
Ben: oh im sorry, the correct answer was surfactant, thats three strikes

*Voice over* Today on how its made, gauze, splints, medical tape

meanwhile off the back of the ship:

Bear Grylls here, i've been dropped into the middle of the bearing sea with nothing but the life raft to sustain me for the week ill be at sea, ill only have this flare gun, one fishing rod, and some twine. I'll need all my wits to pull this off, Kon Tiki style.

back in the wheelhouse:

Today on time warp, a pissed of norewegin slams the crap out of a new york cabby, plus billy mays falling into the bearing sea, stay tuned!

THE END



You know i realized about half way through that it might be a good idea to throw all those shows into one, but when you try and write it you realize that its really a terrible idea. thoughts?

Todays topic, stupid questions i come accross while i work.

As some of you know i work for chacha.com, i basically answer questions for money. so for today's topic some stupid questions i encountered today:

Q: What that big fast fuckin scary ass cloud that's like a mile long and is very close to the ground?


Q: How do I get past the windows logo screen when it won't startup?


Q: which wires for my 07 Suzuki bandit 1250s coming from the ignition switch need to be cut and twisted to turn the bike on

Question

Is it safe to drive a car with no visibility through the driver-side window?

Question

Comment What do you do when you change the hard drive in a computer then you turn it on, and it takes you to a black screen where you have to type something in?

Question

Comment 2009 olympic beach team.

Question

What would a model demonstrating how a heart is affected by immunity depressant drugs during xenotransplantation look like?


.... what the fuck people? really?

Why i love web comics

I think web comics are great for some of the following reasons. the first reason is varity, news papers are run by evil corporations, no really its true. The Universal Press Syndicate is in charge, meaning not just anyone can get a comic in the main news papers, its nuts! so anyway, we comics rule because there are amazing people doing amazing things all over the place, usually in some sort of niche that wouldn't fly in a mainstream newspaper, i mean come on, do you really think penny arcade would end in a national newspaper? NINE! (that's supposed to be no in german for those of you keeping score). But really i think where web comics get their edge is varity, xkcd (a boat of awesomeness btw) sometimes has one panel, sometimes has 5 rows of three panels, giving the author a full range to do whatever the hell they want, im really amazed the scott adams of dilbert fame, can somehow cram something really damn funny in three panels. Imange him having the freedom to have as many panels and all the partial comic nudity he wants! but of course his ass is owned by United media (probably an evil corp, not that i have any proof but its a safe bet) and they would never give him freedom to publish a webcomic, no matter how much awesome it would be made of. So in closing, web comics give artists the freedom to express themselves with all the space, content and partial nudity they want with out getting ink all over your hands. cha!

I feel clean

(im google chat to Aaron) Josh: im a horriable person

ditzygurl132000 (12:35:15 AM): what r u doing?
xenocidlenutcase (12:38:20 AM): wondering why i still talk to you

(side conversation) Aaron: lol

(in google chat) Josh:
ditzygurl132000 (12:39:34 AM): Because I'm amazeing, and cute, and sexy, and your just mezmerized by my AWESOMNESS
xenocidlenutcase (12:39:48 AM): no
ditzygurl132000 (12:39:50 AM): I've hooked you and now u cant get away
xenocidlenutcase (12:39:52 AM): i've seen you once
ditzygurl132000 (12:40:04 AM): i no
xenocidlenutcase (12:40:04 AM): and you claim your going to be free, then aren't
xenocidlenutcase (12:40:11 AM): and you never call, even when you threaten
xenocidlenutcase (12:40:41 AM): im sorry dear, i just have no more room in my life for false hope and stupid people. have a ncie life

Josh:i feel better now

Aaron: wow

she must have been shocked as hell when you suddenly grew a pair of fucking testicles already

Josh: yea well i've decided its a better way to go

block list +1

Say what?

xenocidlenutcase (11:24:21 PM): so unless you drive a segway, or are 500lbs, i have a feeling ya drive

Sleepymiry (11:24:25 PM): oh damn you were listening

Sleepymiry (11:24:31 PM): see i did not expect that from a man

Sleepymiry (11:24:35 PM): im humbled

xenocidlenutcase (11:24:36 PM): what to listen?

Sleepymiry (11:24:41 PM): yes

xenocidlenutcase (11:24:44 PM): well i try

xenocidlenutcase (11:25:02 PM): and we will have to have an epic fooseball tornement sometime

Sleepymiry (11:25:26 PM): oh itll be epic, will it?

Sleepymiry (11:25:26 PM): so you play?

xenocidlenutcase (11:25:44 PM): i've been know to make little men spin around a pole

xenocidlenutcase (11:25:50 PM): wait, what?

Sleepymiry (11:26:06 PM): i wish that comment had a "like" button under to press

Sleepymiry (11:26:10 PM): id press it hard

Arod teh purple

Aaron: so its weird having a huge hole in your ear

i removed a bit of skin from it today

made a horrible tearing sound as it came out

Josh: thats wonderful

Aaron: kinda like electrical tape when it comes off the roll, except more wet sounding

Josh: ew

Aaron: it hurt like hell too

Josh: so why the fuck....... you know what dude? im not even gonna bother, you go off and finger
your man hole all you want

Aaron: it was stuck to the pyrex plug

which was stuck in my ear

Josh: you mean the tampon for your mangina?

Aaron: i hate you