xenocidlenutcase 1:49 pm
(1:49:39 PM): afternoon
elbeeste 1:50 pm
(1:50:19 PM): hey
xenocidlenutcase 1:50 pm
(1:50:45 PM): whats up?
elbeeste 2:07 pm
(2:07:12 PM): personal question?
xenocidlenutcase 2:07 pm
(2:07:21 PM): uhhh, sure
elbeeste 2:07 pm
(2:07:56 PM): do you experience hooking up with ppl youre friends with?
(2:08:08 PM): and im really sorry if thats like none of my business just say so
(2:08:09 PM): haha
xenocidlenutcase 2:08 pm
(2:08:55 PM): well thats an out of the blue question
(2:09:00 PM): are you looking for advice?
elbeeste 2:09 pm
(2:09:07 PM): not exactly
elbeeste 2:09 pm
(2:09:15 PM): im trying to understand
xenocidlenutcase 2:09 pm
(2:09:40 PM): well i'm not really mister socail life
elbeeste 2:09 pm
(2:09:48 PM): why guys hook up with girls theyre friends with instead of random bar girls or just use your hand
(2:09:56 PM): there seems to be some reason
xenocidlenutcase 2:09 pm
(2:09:58 PM): so its not like i have a bevy of single ladies waiting on me
elbeeste 2:10 pm
(2:10:08 PM): mm ok
(2:10:24 PM): soo this is kind of awkward
xenocidlenutcase 2:10 pm
(2:10:25 PM): lol, well first and foremost there is no comparison between a woman and your hand
elbeeste 2:10 pm
(2:10:25 PM): haha
(2:10:31 PM): why not
(2:10:34 PM): its the same thign
xenocidlenutcase 2:10 pm
(2:10:54 PM): not even close
(2:11:03 PM): trust me on this one
elbeeste 2:11 pm
(2:11:29 PM): why
(2:11:41 PM): physcially its the same thing
(2:11:48 PM): i think guys like the emotional aspect
(2:12:09 PM): i think its not abt sex, its about feeling like youre close to someone for a few hrs
(2:12:16 PM): does that make sense?
xenocidlenutcase 2:12 pm
(2:12:40 PM): not in the slighest
(2:12:51 PM): phsyically its not the same this
(2:12:53 PM): thing
elbeeste 2:12 pm
(2:12:56 PM): why not
xenocidlenutcase 2:13 pm
(2:13:03 PM): you touching yourself and someone else doing it are totally different
elbeeste 2:13 pm
(2:13:19 PM): eh i dont get that but ill take your word for it
xenocidlenutcase 2:13 pm
(2:13:23 PM): guys like to get laid, some guys do enjoy the person next to them
xenocidlenutcase 2:13 pm
(2:13:39 PM): other guys just really like to have sex
elbeeste 2:14 pm
(2:14:22 PM): so why do guys like to have sex with ppl theyre friends w ?
(2:14:29 PM): as oppose to ppl they dont know so well
xenocidlenutcase 2:14 pm
(2:14:33 PM): its usually easier
elbeeste 2:14 pm
(2:14:49 PM): really?
xenocidlenutcase 2:14 pm
(2:14:58 PM): and sometimes guys will be friends with someone in the hopes that sometimes in the future they will be able to have sex with them
elbeeste 2:15 pm
(2:15:08 PM): so a guy will be friends w a girl for 4 yrs
(2:15:10 PM): or 6
(2:15:13 PM): or wtvr
(2:15:17 PM): hoping one day to get laid once
(2:15:23 PM): and thats easier than finding a girl in a bar?
xenocidlenutcase 2:15 pm
(2:15:28 PM): but i can't speak from personal expirence, i've never picked a girl up at a bar and taken her home with me
xenocidlenutcase 2:15 pm
(2:15:45 PM): well its an investment
elbeeste 2:16 pm
(2:16:05 PM): so guys are never just friends w girls?
xenocidlenutcase 2:16 pm
(2:16:16 PM): if you've been working on something for years, you get more then satisfaction from it
(2:16:20 PM): not always true
(2:16:44 PM): sometimes guys are friends with a girl and not really looking to have sex with her
(2:16:52 PM): then the oppertunity come up and they go for it
(2:17:11 PM): its not some grand plan, most guys would like to have sex every night if they could
elbeeste 2:17 pm
(2:17:19 PM): w anyone?
xenocidlenutcase 2:17 pm
(2:17:29 PM): so if an oppertunity pops up they jump on it (litterally)
(2:17:38 PM): well that depends on the guy and what stage in life there in
elbeeste 2:18 pm
(2:18:31 PM): how many girlfriends have you had?
xenocidlenutcase 2:19 pm
(2:19:04 PM): a few?
(2:19:17 PM): long term IE more then 4 months?
(2:19:21 PM): 3 or 4
elbeeste 2:19 pm
(2:19:32 PM): did your relationshisp start out from hooking up?
xenocidlenutcase 2:19 pm
(2:19:41 PM): not usually
(2:19:54 PM): but again im one person
elbeeste 2:20 pm
(2:20:02 PM): i think all of mine started that way
xenocidlenutcase 2:20 pm
(2:20:22 PM): how many guys have you hooked up with?
(2:20:27 PM): and define hooking up?
elbeeste 2:20 pm
(2:20:33 PM): varies
(2:20:56 PM): can you explain to me why a guy who i am friends w will be happy making out with me and not doing anything else if it means nothing and its just for one night
xenocidlenutcase 2:20 pm
(2:20:58 PM): probably not going very far im assuming
elbeeste 2:21 pm
(2:21:00 PM): bc then its really not abt sex
(2:21:10 PM): like i said, it varies
(2:21:24 PM): we dont need to get into details, you can figure it out
xenocidlenutcase 2:21 pm
(2:21:28 PM): because your an attractive girl?
(2:21:45 PM): and there was probably drinking involved?
elbeeste 2:21 pm
(2:21:45 PM): isnt kissing emotional?
xenocidlenutcase 2:21 pm
(2:21:50 PM): a little
elbeeste 2:21 pm
(2:21:54 PM): haha yes there probably was
xenocidlenutcase 2:22 pm
(2:22:05 PM): lol, so the truth comes out!
elbeeste 2:22 pm
(2:22:23 PM): how does that change it
xenocidlenutcase 2:22 pm
(2:22:24 PM): you made out with some guy after a night of drinking and your wondering why he dosen't want to date you?
elbeeste 2:22 pm
(2:22:30 PM): no
elbeeste 2:22 pm
(2:22:34 PM): its not abt a sepcific guy
(2:22:39 PM): im just tyring to understand in general
xenocidlenutcase 2:22 pm
(2:22:41 PM): got ya
elbeeste 2:22 pm
(2:22:51 PM): thinking abt my experiences
(2:23:06 PM): can you shed some more light?
xenocidlenutcase 2:23 pm
(2:23:12 PM): i'd be happy to
(2:23:37 PM): men are more able to seperate the phsyical and the emotional then women
elbeeste 2:23 pm
(2:23:50 PM): but kissing is really mostly emotional
xenocidlenutcase 2:23 pm
(2:23:58 PM): eh, it varies
elbeeste 2:24 pm
(2:24:47 PM): i dont get it
(2:24:52 PM): i think it really is emotional
xenocidlenutcase 2:25 pm
(2:25:11 PM): and a guy might not
elbeeste 2:25 pm
(2:25:30 PM): no i mean i think it is for the guy
(2:25:36 PM): isolated
(2:25:45 PM): isolated moment of emotioanl connection
xenocidlenutcase 2:25 pm
(2:25:54 PM): or just making out with a hot chick
elbeeste 2:26 pm
(2:26:07 PM): whats the point of that
xenocidlenutcase 2:26 pm
(2:26:12 PM): if a super model asked me to make out with her i'd be all over it
elbeeste 2:26 pm
(2:26:22 PM): yes but you dont know her
xenocidlenutcase 2:26 pm
(2:26:27 PM): not because i ever had any illusions of dating her
elbeeste 2:26 pm
(2:26:52 PM): if its someone you are friends w isnt it different?
xenocidlenutcase 2:27 pm
(2:27:23 PM): yes
elbeeste 2:27 pm
(2:27:51 PM): how is it different
xenocidlenutcase 2:29 pm
(2:29:33 PM): there more involved in it then just the kissing, but probably not as much as you think there is
elbeeste 2:30 pm
(2:30:21 PM): ok so another q
(2:30:27 PM): if a guy and girl are friends
xenocidlenutcase 2:31 pm
(2:31:14 PM): yes
elbeeste 2:31 pm
(2:31:34 PM): they get along really well, they trust each other, wtvr, he thinks she's cool and finds her attractive,, why wouldnt he want a relationship
(2:33:06 PM): this is something i have been trying to understnd for a while
(2:33:18 PM): i dont think guys and girls are so different but you obviously disagree
xenocidlenutcase 2:34 pm
(2:34:13 PM): well turning a friendship into a relationship has its up side and down side
elbeeste 2:34 pm
(2:34:25 PM): i think its all up
xenocidlenutcase 2:34 pm
(2:34:29 PM): usually if things go bad you lose the person as a frined a long with a chunk of your social circle
elbeeste 2:34 pm
(2:34:44 PM): yea but if you hook up w someone you could lose the friendship too
xenocidlenutcase 2:34 pm
(2:34:57 PM): always a possibility
elbeeste 2:35 pm
(2:35:04 PM): but guys dont worry abt that
xenocidlenutcase 2:37 pm
(2:37:05 PM): well there are few if any absolute rules on this
(2:37:19 PM): guys will do dumb shit for no logical reason at all
(2:37:31 PM): hook up with a hot chic thats your friend? why no!
(2:37:33 PM): not*
elbeeste 2:37 pm
(2:37:53 PM): but there is thought that goes into it
(2:37:59 PM): before hand
(2:38:00 PM): right?
xenocidlenutcase 2:38 pm
(2:38:15 PM): i think thats the difference between guys and girls
(2:38:23 PM): less though for guys, more for girls
elbeeste 2:38 pm
(2:38:28 PM): that doesnt make sense
(2:38:46 PM): if a guy and girl make plans to hang out in his apt and drink
(2:38:50 PM): then its kind of obvious
(2:38:55 PM): so there must be thought that goes into it
xenocidlenutcase 2:41 pm
(2:41:10 PM): he's probably hoping he's gonna hook up with the girl
xenocidlenutcase 2:43 pm
(2:43:53 PM): what, you didn't see that coming?
elbeeste 2:45 pm
(2:45:07 PM): of course but he also did
(2:45:16 PM): so youre saying he didnt put any thought into it?
(2:45:27 PM): like if its going to mess up his social circle or wtvr
xenocidlenutcase 2:45 pm
(2:45:30 PM): i can't tell you whats in his mind
elbeeste 2:45 pm
(2:45:32 PM): like yous aid abt datin a friend
xenocidlenutcase 2:45 pm
(2:45:55 PM): who knows?
(2:46:01 PM): if you want to know ask him
elbeeste 2:46 pm
(2:46:32 PM): haha is that going to go over well?
(2:46:37 PM): cant imagine it will
xenocidlenutcase 2:46 pm
(2:46:40 PM): don't know the guy
(2:46:47 PM): but he'll probably lie
elbeeste 2:46 pm
(2:46:47 PM): im not talking abt someone specific
xenocidlenutcase 2:46 pm
(2:46:51 PM): :-P
elbeeste 2:46 pm
(2:46:51 PM): lie abt what?
xenocidlenutcase 2:47 pm
(2:47:16 PM): you won't get the truth, you'll get what he thinks you want to hear
(2:47:25 PM): wait, i;ve said too much
elbeeste 2:47 pm
(2:47:53 PM): ha come on
elbeeste 2:48 pm
(2:48:01 PM): what could i possibly want to hear
(2:48:09 PM): i just want to understand it
xenocidlenutcase 2:50 pm
(2:50:37 PM): well i hopes i;ve helped a little
elbeeste 2:51 pm
(2:51:32 PM): not exactly but thanks haha
xenocidlenutcase 2:51 pm
(2:51:50 PM): lol
(2:51:56 PM): well we can keep trying
xenocidlenutcase 2:56 pm
(2:56:21 PM): so how many guys has this happened with?
elbeeste 2:56 pm
(2:56:27 PM): a few
xenocidlenutcase 2:56 pm
(2:56:49 PM): and you don't want it to happen again or your just trying to understand it?
elbeeste 2:57 pm
(2:56:59 PM): just curious abt it
(2:57:02 PM): trying to understand it
(2:57:15 PM): also can you explain to me how a guy can hook up witha girl he doesnt find attractive
xenocidlenutcase 2:57 pm
(2:57:28 PM): there's usually alcohol involed?
(2:57:34 PM): or desparation
(2:57:46 PM): or just wanting to do it
(2:57:59 PM): and for the record, your not un attractive:-P
elbeeste 2:58 pm
(2:58:01 PM): so if a guy likes a girl, will he hook up with her randomly?
(2:58:09 PM): thanks but it's all subjective
xenocidlenutcase 2:58 pm
(2:58:15 PM): of the oppertunity presents itself
(2:58:18 PM): if*
elbeeste 2:58 pm
(2:58:31 PM): he will do that rather than tell her he likes her
xenocidlenutcase 2:59 pm
(2:59:04 PM): maybe he's afraid
(2:59:16 PM): its not easy to lay it on the line like that
(2:59:27 PM): fear of rejection and what not
elbeeste 2:59 pm
(2:59:27 PM): so hooking up drunk is the prefered method?
xenocidlenutcase 2:59 pm
(2:59:36 PM): when you hook up with a girl its not totally one sided
elbeeste 3:00 pm
(3:00:08 PM): right but im asking the guys perspective/motivation
xenocidlenutcase 3:01 pm
(3:01:24 PM): usually when you hook up with a girl there are signls coming from the other side, as opposed to coming out and saying you like somoene
elbeeste 3:01 pm
(3:01:34 PM): right
xenocidlenutcase 3:01 pm
(3:01:40 PM): in which case your not sure if your affections are going to be returned
elbeeste 3:01 pm
(3:01:58 PM): so theres basically no way for a girl to know when a guy makes a move if he is interested in her or just wants to hook up
xenocidlenutcase 3:02 pm
(3:02:40 PM): well thats out of my area of expertise
(3:02:48 PM): its usually the guy making the move
(3:03:06 PM): if a girl told me she liked me or came onto me i'd be like whoa, this is awesome
elbeeste 3:03 pm
(3:03:11 PM): hha
xenocidlenutcase 3:03 pm
(3:03:14 PM): guys aren't used to being hit on
elbeeste 3:03 pm
(3:03:23 PM): ok but i mean if 2 ppl are hooking up
elbeeste 3:03 pm
(3:03:29 PM): there is no way to know what i means
(3:03:31 PM): if anything
xenocidlenutcase 3:03 pm
(3:03:35 PM): no one buys me drinks, complements my clothing ect
elbeeste 3:03 pm
(3:03:40 PM): aw
xenocidlenutcase 3:07 pm
(3:07:40 PM): yea, so its a little different
elbeeste 3:08 pm
(3:08:11 PM): ok but
(3:08:16 PM): is there any way to tell
(3:08:20 PM): like what if you like someone
(3:08:27 PM): how do you know if you want to hook up w them
(3:08:36 PM): bc maybe its jjust a hook up for them
(3:08:54 PM): and then can you initiate a convo abt it later?
(3:09:00 PM): how do you do that without pissing him off
(3:09:08 PM): i dont want anyone to lie to me
xenocidlenutcase 3:11 pm
(3:11:13 PM): its tricky
xenocidlenutcase 3:14 pm
(3:14:52 PM): you could just tell them
(3:14:59 PM): its a risk
elbeeste 3:15 pm
(3:15:01 PM): yea
(3:15:46 PM): its interesting
xenocidlenutcase 3:17 pm
(3:17:54 PM): well thats the fun!
